You made me cry and you don't even care
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
