he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
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