His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
