dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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