she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
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