covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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