Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I understand Curling. That high.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
