I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Those nachos came to me in a dream
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
