exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
