please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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