Your face is a jimmy john
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
We have started to decorate penises.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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