he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
is it fun? or sober?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
