i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize