I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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