hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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