I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
So much rum. So many feels.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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