Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
