therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Randomize
