i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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