..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
