I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
