I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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