I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
