that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
