xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
You need Xanax blowdarts
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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