Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
