I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
