I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize
