a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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