what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
