and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I've blown a few things in my day
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
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