my sisters under your porch take her home
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
