so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
