Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
