And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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