People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
