nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
