Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize