We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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