If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
