You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
