Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
