so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
