I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
