Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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