i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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