I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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