i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
