why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Randomize
