those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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