I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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