i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
