She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
