went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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