I got chris browned last night
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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