You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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