I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
