I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
