I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
