I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
