Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Randomize
