She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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