dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I hate all girls vehemently.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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