if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
