i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize