i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
