as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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